I Wasn’t Going to Say I’m Sorry…

I'm sorry

I wasn’t going to say–
I’m sorry.
I wasn’t going to ask for his forgiveness.
I wasn’t.
How quickly those tiny ice-hard-anger-crystals can chill the warmth of marriage…
Even a good, solid one.

But then You–
Reminded me of how greatly I’m forgiven.
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. ~Psalm 32:1

My list of grievances was long.
My list of lists of all the holds that I could hold over,
Was long.
As I’m sure was his.

But then You–
Reminded me that while I was yet, You took that first step towards me.
…in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. ~Romans 5:8

I forgot who was the enemy.
I forgot in my forgetfulness where the true battle wages.
I forgot.

But then You–
Reminded me of his prowling, that evil one who loves to see a wedge between.
Your adversary the devil…seeking someone to devour. ~1 Peter 5:8

So I read…but it was more than reading.
So I read…because You wouldn’t let me push away,
But helped me sip down each iota,
When my heart was choosing between the welcome or the wall.

And then You–
Reminded me of the hope and life and grace and healing and Your Words cut to my core…
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit…  ~Hebrews 4:12

And by Your kindness, I was softened.
And by Your love, my heart was softened.
I felt the drip drip dripping of my ice warming to Your warmth.

Because then You–
Reminded me of what Love truly is.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,endures all things.  ~1 Cor. 13:7

And then You.
You–
In Your Word,
Your life-full Word.
Your live-acting Word.
Your trans-forming Word.

You changed this heart–
So in need of changing.

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