The Most Important Question You Should Ask About Adoption

adoption question

We had many questions when we started seriously considering adoption…
And those questions shifted as we wandered down our adoptive journey and especially as we took a jump of faith toward our second adoption.

I remember the day the packet came in the mail.
It was about an inch thick and it was full to the brim with paperclipped documents and forms that we needed to sign, fill out, and return.

There was also a long list of the 479 hoops (okay maybe I exaggerate a bit) that we would need to jump through before we could consider ourselves ready to be matched with a child.

Plus a weighty list of books (thick books) that we would need to read before we could fill out the paperwork, before we could start our homestudy, before we could begin our training classes, before we could do our FBI fingerprinting, before we could make our “family book”, before we could officially be–

Waiting.

You get the picture.
And the more we dug in…the more questions we had.

Good questions like:

Did we choose the right agency?
Should we go with an international or domestic program?
What age range/gender would be the best fit for our family?
How would our friends and family respond?
Where would the financial resources come from to fund the adoption?
What known risks and health or medical concerns did we feel our family can handle?
Were we open to an open-adoption?
Who would this new little one be that God has planned for our family?
How could we develop relationships with other adoptive families?
Were we prepared to handle trans-racial realities?
Were we willing/able to adopt a sibling group?
How could we rearrange the house to incorporate our newest family member(s)?
What was our motivation for adopting?
How would this affect our other children?
Were we, as a couple, in total agreement about this?
Why did we give away all our baby stuff !?!

And probably a bazillion more–
Really good questions.

But over time, we narrowed it down to the most important question we should ask about adoption.

The Most-Important-Crucial-Non-Negotiable-Critical-Key-Adoption-Question–

Is God telling us to do this?

Really, that’s it.
It’s just that simple.
Though He commands us to care for the fatherless, He doesn’t direct every single family to adopt.
And as much as I might like to make a very logical list of all the pros and cons of adoption and timing and hardships and benefits and blessings and…
Again, it really just comes down to–

Is God telling us to do this?
To adopt?

Because we know that God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts, so much higher than our thoughts. ~Isaiah 55:9

And when we are weak, then He is strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:10

Because we know that God can cause all things to work together for good, according to His purpose, to conform us to the image of His Son. ~Romans 8:28 & 29

And sometimes, God’s plans don’t make sense from our vantage point.
Sometimes they aren’t–
Logical.
But it’s because we can’t see around the corner yet,
And He can.

I’m sure it made no sense to some onlookers when we started our second adoption process, just months after our fourth child died.
But we rested in the assurance that it was from Him.
And He stayed in control of the timing.

“There is unwavering peace today…when an uncertain tomorrow…is trusted to an unchanging God.”  ~ Ann Voskamp

Our first adoption took just months (literally…a couple of months).
But our second adoption took a complete year.
Because He was in charge of fitting together the puzzle pieces and He knew we needed that time to walk through some piercing days of grief.
Still, the whole way through, we could rest in knowing–

God is telling us to do this.

I have a friend who is waiting on three children from Ethiopia.
They are around the ages of 13, 5, and 2.
Their current family includes children ages 13, 10, and 6.
In no scenario does that equation add up to a formula for– ease.
But their goal isn’t ease…
It’s living in His will.

It’s living out what God is telling them to do.

So…
If you’re considering adoption, let me just encourage you to make that your most important question.
Is God telling us to do this?

And He’ll answer it in different ways.
Sometimes the answers only come when you start shaking a few doorhandles.
And you just might be like me and Gideon, pleading with Him for a fleece or two. ~Judges 6:36-40
But come to Him with a spirit of “If the Lord wills, we will…(adopt).” ~James 4:15

Because then no matter where the adoption road leads your family…
You can rest in,
And cling to…

God keeps him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on God,
because he trusts in God.
~Isaiah 26:3

With Love,
Kara

P.S.   If you missed the other posts in this series, you may want to go back and read about– our adoption journey, 7 reasons that we love adoption and helpful adoption resources.  

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